dear Om-Mij Teamsters,

the “frame experience” could not have been any better, tausend Dank Euch allen!!

the experience of the Ayahuasca itself … well, I wish I knew whether I get anything at all from my experience … maybe on a subconscious level, perhaps as an after-effect.

my plan was to arrive at Doetinchem at 15:00 but my train trip was very much like those dreams when you try to find your way to some place but seem to never get there!  well I finally did arrive but it was no sooner than 20:30.  was greeted by two dear ladies (what are your names please?  also those of the teamsters I met later on? I’m sorry! next time I’ll do better) and dear John.  I was offered to do Sat & Sun instead of Fri & Sat, but I was eager to catch up right away as the other guests were just now offered their second helping.  since this was my very first time with the Ayahuasca I probably would not take a second shot that night anyway.  dear John got me into the right mood, giving me a brief & quiet candlelit ceremony & my drink of Ayahuasca in the spacious kitchen before showing me to my place in the circle of ayahuasceros.

“under the influence” I got the impression that the music was carefully designed to meet the requirements of an ayahuasca experience & that there was a “curve”: from sweet harmonic sounds at the beginning (what did I know of the beginning? I wasn’t even there),  then as a middle part dark-sweet harmonic with a demonic twist (but not scary) to “extract” what has to come out, & then again, at the end, sweet & harmonic & friendly.  both nights, same curve.  it was a while after both my aya experiences that I began to doubt that the music was meant to sound the way it did to me … someone had mentioned that the music had in fact a neutral character!  so the demonic twist was there only in my very own private reality.

the effects the Ayahuasca had on me were disappointingly superficial:  (with closed eyes) a vague & fuzzy grayish city scenery (felt like Las Vegas or Mexico) with white-eyed animal faces (foxes? coyotes?), their outlines highlighted with pink, mint, violet, yellow dotted lines, the scene emanating neutral, cold, perhaps slightly demonic, indifference.  that was all.  second night, not even that, but (black&white) dotted lines that circled & danced whenever I rolled my eyeballs, apparently picking up the many candle lights in the room, but circling in the opposite direction than my eyes!  (closed eyes: nothing)

both nights I tried asking questions but got no answer, not on a conscious level ..oh but yes, once there was kind of an answer:  when I asked Ayahuasca to please help me clean up my mess, there immediately was this huge URGE TO PURGE!!   ;D

we were offered a second round but I was not at the time able to convince myself that I could take it, afraid it would unbearably increase my discomfort. some day I’ll have another go & then perhaps I’ll be offered a higher dose right away so I need not make the decision “under the influence” – hope that this is an option (?)

all through the ceremony, we received the very best care one could imagine:  empty water bottles & used buckets were exchanged immediately, there was always & instantly someone to usher us to the bathroom, we had help in uncovering or tucking-in if we felt hot or cold, were offered extra blankets & pillows or hot-water bottles … everything was done in a quick & quiet manner, & so very lovingly & gladly!  I am deeply impressed & touched!

you teamsters are absolutely wonderful people!  & what you do is precious & most valuable & valued!

I like the place a lot too & hope it’ll not change too much for me to recognize it next time!  just one thing:  you might consider painting the doors in different colours … maybe it’s just me, but I’d been having trouble finding the right doors all through my two days’ stay  ;D

another thing:  I may not have attended at all, had it not been for the reasonable price, wofür ich unendlich dankbar bin.

wishing you all the very best!  hope to see you soon!  take care!

love, shalom, namasté,

Thula

Hessen, Germany

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