First of all thank u so very much. the last week has been mindblowing.
So much has changed for good from just one session.
its hard to choose the biggest insight of late becouse there are so many and the ayahuasca is still doing its work.but today for instance was such a blissful day i felt so connected to people. I was looking for that for so long.and so much of my judgement for people that have difficulties with me is just gone.
I understand now that it really doesnt have anything to do with me.
And really wish them well instead of getting frustrated and making it about me. I also understand that my doubts interpersonally or in general are unnecessary as long as i know that i come from a place of love. Geez ..and yesterday i had this huge huge relief becouse of an epiphany i had while being high. As your remember i partly came because of my cannabis addiction and I left your place thinking “ugh i still wanna smoke pot” anyway i came home a little stressed out by the evening
And it was the first time i was just by myself smoking a joint… And i got a little cought up in negativ emotions didnt feel like being around people and i thought “theres still something deep down” and the split seccond after i bursted out laughing thinking ” dude thats just a thought”…I realized that when im high i lack the distance to my thoughts ..and as a result i dont really reflect,identifying with them and that way these anxious thought pattern manifest and even slow down my process to happiness,empowerment and self realization. In that moment i just decided i wont do it again and felt so relieved. I like my real self a lot better. and to have an on going development meditation is so key!!
Today no withdrawal symptoms , nothing, just certainty of who i am and where im heading…. I cant emphasize enough how grateful i am for these gifts…